Skepticon and loyalty

Sorry that my posts died out for a few days – the truth is that I have been busy both working my a$$ off at my internship (in five weeks I will finish, and then I will be Doctor Ziztur). In addition to working my a$$ off, Flimsy and I have been scouring the St. Louis area for a house to buy, which will hopefully be large enough that we can use it as some kind of bizarre commune.

This weekend Saint Gasoline, The Alien, Flimsy and I went to Skepticon II, a skeptic/atheist conference held in Springfield, Mo. We had an absolute blast hanging out with Richard Carrier, PZ Myers, Rebecca Watson, D.J. Grothe, Dan Barker, and a bunch of other skeptics (including all the other St. Louis bloggers).

The four of us ended up partying late into the night with PZ, D.J., Richard, Rebecca, and a bunch of other awesome folks. In a semi-intoxicated (by skepticism, the late hours and some rum) state, I managed to snap some portraits in the dimly-lit motel room. As far as portraits go, they aren’t amazing – but I think they are pretty good given the poor lighting.

I think my friend The Alien did the coolest thing of all – she used to think atheists were evil jackasses who did nothing more than undermine and condemn everyone around them. She was kind of afraid of atheists because once upon a time, someone who could best be described as an “atheist communist conspiracy theorist” was the only atheist she knew, and he treated her as though she were somehow less than human… for years. So what does she do? She goes to a conference where everyone is an atheist and ends up in a hotel room with famous authors and public figures of the movement – and she loved it! I don’t know many people who are willing to open themselves up like that. People should be more like her.

About 2 years ago, Alien and I lived together, and we lived with someone who can best be described as a “communist conspiracy theorist atheist who was hell bent on destroying any and all belief, even to the detriment of other people.” The Alien was mentally tortured by this individual, who would frequently direct words like, “stupid”, “wrong”, and “inhuman” at her. She and the communist conspiracy theorist atheist (CCTA) both paid rent to the owner of the house. The torment got so bad that CCTA and his girlfriend violated her personal property, going into her room to steal and throw away object if spiritual importance to her. CCTA may have been an atheist but he certainly was no skeptic. He was more of a contrarian or a denialist – 9/11 was an inside job, there was no lone gunman, the Masons are out to get us, the Jews are out to get us, the election was rigged, aluminum will kill you, vaccines cause autism, Big Pharma wants to keep you sick, GE crops are evil, etc.

Despite all of the seething hatred directed at her The Alien tried desperately to understand CCTA: “I made many, many attempts to understand his points of view. He made no attempt, and instead riled against any thoughts I had of my own.” After finally finding the means to move out, she “wanted nothing to do with atheists.” CCTA was the only atheist she knew, and he had tainted her perspective on atheists and atheism: “If he was what atheism was, I wanted no part of that. In fact, anyone who would dare question my beliefs who claimed to be an atheist, would have gotten screamed out of my subdivision. “

When I came out as an atheist, The Alien was heartbroken: “I was more than appalled. I felt betrayed by the person who knew me the most. She, becoming atheist, was like her telling me she was going to become exactly like [CCTA]. It put the largest wedge in our friendship than has ever been there before. I wasn’t sure I could stand to be around her, as if she had been contaminated with this disease that turned people into…well, [CCTA].

She and I had a tough relationship for the next year or so. I tried to explain that not all atheists were like CCTA, but he had so contaminated her view of atheism that it was hard for her to believe. Her reaction was very much like people who have been told by the church that atheists are evil and immoral – when you meet a moral one, you believe that the immorality is hiding just underneath a thin veneer. But then things changed when The Alien invited me along to help her with a house painting job:

“I needed someone to work with me on a house and [Ziztur] was available to help. Somewhere during the first few days, she said she had something interesting to have me listen to. Okay, no problem – this happens quite frequently. I like interesting stuff and she knows what I would find interesting. Somewhere in those next few days… she had me listen to this podcast. It was Point of Inquiry. I had no idea what Point of Inquiry was, but the podcast was definitely interesting.”

We ended up listening to POI for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week for several weeks. Later on, I introduced her to Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe. At some point, I let the Alien know that POI and the other podcasts were all produced by atheists. She decided that though she had no desire to meet any of the people in the podcasts, they were cool and interesting.

Slowly, I began to introduce her to other people in my circle of godless friends. First, it was some people I was dating:

“I’ve never been so scared to enter a house, ever… I was adamant on not getting too deep in conversation with them lest they start questioning my beliefs and attacking them upon finding out I wasn’t an atheist like them. While I ended up conversing with them, it did not go too deeply… At least they didn’t mentally torture me with their conversation. Okay, some atheists are okay.”

Skip ahead to a few months ago. The Alien uses me as her personal lending library, and at one point I convinced her to read a skeptical book. We started with Why People Believe Weird Things by Michael Shermer, and she eventually moved on to read books by Richard Dawkins, Mary Roach, Darrel Ray, and others. She worked up the nerve to attend atheist book clubs with me. She took my mp3 player (loaded with POI, SGU, and Quackcast) to Europe to feed her ears during long train rides.

“By this time, I’m starting to figure out that the intellectual conversation may just overpower my now deep fear of atheists. I took some tentative steps, checking out – gasp- other blogs than [Ziztur's] and the POI website.”

Surprisingly, The Alien was off work last weekend. She had heard about Skepticon II from Skepchick.org, and dropped me a line, asking if she could come along. A few hours later, she was sitting in the car with me, Flimsy, and Saint Gasoline. She describes how she felt on the way to the con:

“Imagine a deep nervousness that keeps on being pushed down by the want for intellectual conversations sure to happen. Imagine being nervous at meeting people you’ve been listening to not long, but just long enough to feel like you’re meeting someone famous. Imagine still being deeply nervous and still quite a bit fearful of the people who were SURE to ask you about your religious beliefs and question you when you still haven’t worked out your stand on everything-in-the-known-world-much-less-yourself (see future posts on this) completely yet. You’ve probably gotten the picture.”

“Imagine then fitting in better at this convention than fitting in ANYWHERE else ever in your life, even with groups of friends known for years. “

The Alien has a message:

“I must say it clearly to CCTA and the other demeaning atheists out there who use mental torture to wear down others. You, sir, do/did NOT help your cause in the slightest. Your strategy did NOT work and scared away someone who COULD have been someone on your side. Now before
you think “wait, but it did”, technically…. you’re still wrong. It would have probably always come to [skepticism] (just by nature of my friend deciding for herself), and what you did was stop someone from becoming [a skeptic] for years longer than they probably would have. You did a disservice to your cause and I do not believe anyone should respect what you say given the way you go about proving your points…YOU are a DISGRACE TO ATHEISTS and ATHEISM and THEY DO NOT NEED YOU as an advocate.”

The Alien is also one of those few skeptics out there who is not exactly an atheist – but she is a skeptic, a freethinker, a best friend, and she is beyond loyal, even going so far as to get in the car and go somewhere where she is in enemy territory – and instead of finding hostility, she found friends.